Access KeysSkip to MenuSkip to ContentSkip to Footer

2.1 Non-verbal

You will have heard the phrase “ It's not what you say, it's the way you say it! ” .
Verbal communication allows you to express yourself, while nonverbal communication enhances and reinforces the effect of your spoken word.

Nonverbal communication is a reliable indicator of the real feelings.

Consider how the mother will interpret these messages.

The mother is sitting in a chair breastfeeding her baby. In each situation the health care worker says, “Good morning. How is breastfeeding going?

  • Health care worker stands over the mother.
  • Health care worker sits behind desk, writing in notes at the same time.
  • Health care worker checks her watch as she asks the question.
  • Health care worker is holding a stack of files in her hands.
  • Health care worker moves mother's clothing aside and touches her breast and jiggles baby's chin.

Are you really listening?

Hearing and effective listening are not the same thing.
To be a good communicator you must first pay attention to the speaker (the mother). Your posture, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions and short responses are all nonverbal cues that help the mother to understand whether you are following her conversation.

Posture

  • Relaxed alertness.
  • Body leaning slightly forward.
  • Face the other squarely and be at eye level.
  • Maintain an open posture (no crossed arms or legs).
  • Position yourself at an appropriate distance. This is influenced by cultural and individual differences. Both too near and too far positioning causes anxiety. Generally, in Western cultures, about one metre (3 feet) is about right.

Appropriate body motion

Movements should be in response to what the speaker is saying. Lack of movement signifies the listener is controlled, cold, aloof and reserved. Sometimes the listener may be so in tune with the speaker that their gestures synchronise.

Eye contact

Eye contact allows the speaker to appraise your receptiveness, and allows you to 'see' if there are deeper meanings than those being expressed. Eye contact involves softly focusing on the speaker's eyes, occasionally shifting the gaze from her face to other parts of her body, a gesturing hand for example, and then back to the face and eye contact once again.

Repeatedly looking away from the speaker, staring at her constantly or blankly, or looking away as soon as she looks at you are examples of poor eye contact.

Consider cultural differences. For example Australian aboriginal people prefer to avoid direct eye contact.

Minimal encouragers

Minimal encouragers are simple responses that indicate you are 'with them'. They aid the speaker to continue speaking, but don't direct the flow of the conversation. They are usually sprinkled throughout a conversation.

Examples are: mm-hmm, yes, right, I see, then?, go on, yeah, etc... They shouldn't imply agreement or disapproval.

Non-distracting environment

  • pleasant, uncluttered room
  • turn off television or intrusive music
  • do not allow phone calls to interrupt the conversation
  • in hospital setting, curtain off the mother's bed; put Do Not Disturb sign on door
  • in an office: place chairs away from desk, avoid having a desk between you
  • be aware of the mother's need for privacy, seeking a private area or asking others to leave if necessary

Time

The way a person perceives time, structures their time and reacts to time is a powerful communication tool. How you and your conversational partner react to punctuality and a willingness to wait will have an impact on your communication. How long are you or they prepared to listen?
Also consider the timing of your conversation as it relates to other activities for both parties.

Non-verbal communication is two-way

While you are ensuring that your nonverbal communication is congruent with your message and demonstrating effective listening, don't neglect to read the communication signs being given by your conversational partner.
Note all of the aspects of non-verbal communication being exhibited in this photograph. Did you notice the body motion? Note the eye contact between the two.

Note all of the aspects of non-verbal communication being exhibited in this photograph. Did you notice the body motion? Note the eye contact between the two.

Workbook Activity 2.2

Complete Activity 2.2 in your workbook.

What should I remember?

  • all facets of nonverbal communication
  • consider the immediate environment
  • consider the implications of time and timing

Self-test Quiz