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2.3 Building confidence

In topic 3 you will learn how nurturing maternal self-efficacy and self-confidence influences mothers to breastfeed their infants for much longer. Your communication skills can help the mother to feel good about herself and confident in her role as a mother. Confidence can help a mother to carry out her decisions and to resist pressures from other people.

To build confidence the mother must feel

Acceptance

Acceptance of a person's actions or beliefs is the starting point of any relationship.

Accepting what a mother says helps her to trust you and encourages her to continue the conversation. Accepting what a mother says is not the same as agreeing that she is right. You can accept what she is saying and give correct information later.

Which one of these statements demonstrates acceptance?

Mother: “I give my baby a bottle each night because he was waking up.
Health worker: “It's normal for babies to wake at night. That's not a reason to give a bottle.
Health worker: “That might stop him waking up at night.
Health worker: “Getting up to settle a baby at night is very tiring.

The first response disagreed with the mother. The second response agreed with the mother even though the information was incorrect. The third response demonstrates acceptance of her statement without either agreeing or disagreeing.

Acceptance statements quiz


Choose the response that demonstrates acceptance of the mother's statement.

Avoiding judgmental words

Words that may sound like you are judging include: right, wrong, well, bad, good, enough, properly, adequate, problem, still.
Words like this can make a woman feel that she has a standard to reach or that her baby is not behaving normally. Examples: "Is your baby latching properly?", "Does he have enough wet and dirty nappies/diapers?".

The mother may hide how things are going if she feels she is being judged. In addition, the mother and the health worker may have different ideas about what "properly" or "enough" means. It is more helpful to ask open questions such as "How do you feel he is going with latching now?", "Could you describe his wet and dirty nappies/diapers to me?"

Practice avoiding judging words

Acknowledge what is right

Notice and praise what the mother and baby are achieving. This is very important. Always look for, and comment on, what is good.
An example might be to comment that it is good to see she responds to early feeding cues, or that her baby opens his mouth really well just before latching.

Use language that is easily understood

Regardless of the mother's educational level, using simple language and avoiding medical terms or jargon provides greater clarity and better understanding.

Using simple language

Provide relevant information

Additional ideas and options can be added to the ones the mother has already tried or knows about. Limit your suggestions to only a few that would be relevant to her. Don't overwhelm her with information. Use phrases such as: “How would you feel about...?” or “Some recent research shows that... Could this apply in your situation?

Your aim is to ensure the mother has enough information to make an informed decision. The mother solves her own problem.

If you've applied the communication skills discussed so far you may find that the mother has already found her own solution. Sometimes just a good listener who can accurately reflect her feelings and provides a well-organized summary is sufficient for her to see her situation in a new light.

Workbook Activity 2.3

Complete Activity 2.3 in your workbook.

What should I remember?

  • WHAT you say and HOW you say it affects a mother's self-confidence
  • how to phrase sentences to reflect acceptance without judgment
  • praise is important
  • how to provide additional information in a manner that is easily understood and leads to informed decision-making